That's Not What I Wanted
by Nagini Crimson
Summary: DISCONTINUED! Harry is in a very serious relationship, with the man he loves more than anything. But a problem arises while at the Dursleys. A mad godfather, pissed werewolf, and scared witless relatives on the way. Slash MPREG HPSS
1. Saying GoodBye Is Hard and Finding Out

Title: That's Not What I Wanted ((Pending)).  
  
Rating: PG-13/R Overall  
  
Summary: Harry is in a very serious relationship, with the man he loves more than anything. But a problem arises while at the Dursleys. A mad godfather, pissed werewolf, and scared witless relatives on the way.  
  
Warnings: Slash, MPREG, Teacher/Student relationship (over age of consent), Nasty, VILE Language by a certain someone who needs to be dragged out into the street and shot.  
  
Disclaimer: -.- ARGH. I hate these. Oh well, everyone else does too. Disclaimer is on my Bio Page so bugger off.  
  
Chapter's Rating: High PG-13 for language  
  
**Begining Notes**: My first ever slashfic with Harry being with someone other than Draco. So naturally, I am petrified of posting this. If no one likes it I'll deem this as a failure and put it in my trash bin. ^.^ Just because this idea's been rolling around in my head for some time. ^.^ *pounds the evil plot bunnys into dust* *dust bunnies attack* ARGH! ^.^  
  
  
  
  
  
PROLOGUE: Saying Good-bye Is Hard  
  
  
  
"But I don't want to leave you." He said softly, voice cracking with raw emotion as his lover wrapped him in a warm embrace, kissing his forehead.  
  
"I don't like the thought of you going back to them either, you haven't been feeling well lately. Speaking of which, have you seen Madam Pomfrey about that yet?"  
  
"Nuh-uh," Harry shook his head. "I must have just had the stomach flu. It's gone now. I think." Harry shrugged. "I'd rather stay." He sighed.  
  
"But Dumbledore refuses to let you stay here. He *insists* that it is safer there," he said, running his thumb accross the boy's face, wiping away the tears that had pooled from his emerald eyes.  
  
"But why can't you keep me safe. You have magic..." Harry said hesitantly, recieving a scoff for that statement.  
  
"Harry you honestly think Dumbledore would make you stay with the Dursleys if there was anywhere safer?"  
  
"Well..." Harry stared at his lover's hands. Pianist fingers, thin and long; a part of strong, loving hands.... "No." Harry said, wanting to pout, but didn't want to be chided for it.  
  
"Exactly. I'll owl you as often as possible, and I'll be here, waiting for you when you come back to school." Haary smiled. That was always a constant.  
  
"Allright. I'll miss you though. Promise to be careful when...?" Harry trailed off.  
  
"I promise I'll be careful when he calls me. Now get going or you'll miss the train," Severus said softly, kissing Harry's cheek softly.  
  
"Bye," Harry said, kissing Severus one last time, and headed off to the horseless carriages, ready to board the train back to the Dursleys once again. At least this would be his last summer. Seventh Year was just around the corner now.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
CHAPTER ONE: Finding Out  
  
Harry sighed, staring out the train window, watching the countryside pass his sight. He noticed someone walk into the compartment out of the fcorner of his eye. Looking away from the scene outside, he turned to the person who entered.  
  
"Malfoy," he said, acknowledging his presence. Draco rolled his eyes, sticking his hands in his pockets and strolled over to Harry, sitting next to him.  
  
"How was your," here Draco was very dramatic, "woeful good-byes?" He said, batting his eyelashes and getting backhanded on the arm.  
  
"Haha," Harry said bitterly with a sigh. "It ended too soon." Draco made a weird face like he didn't know what to do, and awkwardly patted Harry's back.  
  
Draco and Harry had been forced to work together in Fifth Year on a few big projects, and away from all of their friends, they found out they could stand each other. Sort of. Draco was Harry's first kiss, and Harry was Draco's first real confidant.  
  
Ron and Hermione, chattering away walked into the compartment, and Ron did a double take.  
  
"What the bloody-? What? I mean...?" he babbled, more than a bit shocked to see Malfoy's arm on his best friend's back, in a brotherly way. Draco thought quickly a moment, and put his arm around Harry's shoulders, hugging the boy closer.  
  
"Do you mind? I'd like some time to be with my boyfriend; *alone*." Draco said with a smirk, causing Ron to freak out. His face turned red with fury and embarrassment as he mouthed wordlessly, trying to get his voice back. That didn't take very long at all.  
  
"What?! What do you mean your boyfriend?! You're *gay*?! What the-? MALFOY?! Ah..........." Ron shouted, flailing his arms and passing out into a dead faint.  
  
Draco sniggered as Harry rolled his beautiful green eyes, pushing Draco's arm off. "That wasn't funny Malfoy," Harry said exasperated, trying to wake Ron up as Hermione stood shell-shocked, yet the words processed.  
  
"Malfoy? So you two... aren't... *together*?" she asked cautiously. Draco sniggered as he shook his head 'no'. "Well that's a relief. I know how you are Harry... but well Malfoy's just a *bit* extreme." She was almost amused at the situation.  
  
"Just wanted to scare the weasel. 'Hope you feel better soon Potter- just try not to think about it too much. See you later Granger." Draco said, walking out of the compartment with a jump in his step and a sadistic grin on his pale face.  
  
"I have no idea how you can possible stand that boy Harry," Hermione said, closing the door and stepping around Ron to set her books down on a seat. She kneeled next to Harry, smacking Ron's face as the redhead came to slowly.  
  
"Lots and lots of practice," Harry muttered as Ron finally opened his sky- blue eyes. And promptly began to scream.  
  
"OH HOLY MERLIN HOW *COULD* YOU HARRY?! *MALFOY*?!" Harry shook the screaming Weasley, then cut him off when he realized shaking wasn't going to help. The most it would do was kill off a few of Ron's brain cells. Not that they were used too often anyway.  
  
"RON! Malfoy and I *aren't* dating!" he yelled, causing Ron to stop and blink at Harry.  
  
"You're not?" he asked in disbelief.  
  
"No, we're not. We're barely even friends, so don't worry." Harry then realized he said the wrong thing.  
  
"YOU'RE PRACTICALLY FRIENDS WITH MALF-" Ron then realized that he couldn't scream anymore. He couldn't even talk. And Hermione had her wand out, looking very smug. Her that is. Not the wand.  
  
"Thanks Herm'," Harry said, visibly relaxing. He still wasn't feeling very well and he sat back on his seat, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead and ruffling his hair with a sigh.  
  
"Harry?" Hermione asked carefully. "Are you allright? You look a bit... pale... and sort of greenish I think," she said softly. Harry nodded, then looked back to Ron.  
  
"Malfoy and I are just over hating each other, but we're not exactly friends either. We just talk sometimes Ron, it's nothing really. I'm not dating him." Ron looked relieved, and Hermione took off the charm.  
  
"Whew, so you're not gay then," Ron said with a stupid grin on his face, but frowned when Harry raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Whoever said I wasn't gay?" Had Ron been any *more* pathetic, he would have fainted again. Instead he babbled mindlessly and Hermione slapped her forehead, pulling him over to a seat and gently pushed him onto the plush material.  
  
"You're WHAT?" The redhead asked faintly, nearly not believing his ears.  
  
"Gay," Harry said flippantly, staring out the window, wishing he was back at Hogwarts; back with Severus.  
  
Ron's emotions morphed quickly from shock to horror and anger; he fumed, turning red, "You're a *pouf*?! You're a bloody pouf?" he exclaimed in disgust, and Hermione gasped in shock that her boyfriend would ever be so... discriminating.  
  
"Ron!" she said loudly, thouroughly disgusted with him, as she stood up in his face, her own twisted in an expression that could only be described as a pure rage.  
  
"No Hermione." Harry said calmly, standing up slowly. "No. I see how this is. I'm going to go." Harry's voice was a near-whisper as he made his way out of the compartment, feeling hurt.  
  
"Oh Harry!" Hermione, clearly distressed that she hadn't done something. "I can't believe you would say something so horrid to Harry," she scolded.  
  
"Hermione! I can't believe you're not completely grossed out. I can't believe I was friends with... with that cocksucker!" Ron spat in a wild fury. Hermione brought a very fingernail bitten hand up to her face to cover her mouth as she gasped in shock, then used her other hand to pull at her ring finger. She tore the ring off, throwing it at Ron's forehead as she ran out of the compartment after her best friend.  
  
Harry was in an empty compartment that he had somehow managed to find, and sat on his knees staring blankly at the lush scenery. It was mile after mile of green grasses, and beautious animals, all seeming like they belonged; they did belong.  
  
"Potter?" a voice said cautiously. Harry, eyes dull and not full of their usual vigor, turned around to face the inquirer.  
  
"What do you want Zabini?" Harry said with a groan and a sigh. He was not up to dealing with a bitchy Slytherin. The auburn/brown-haired Slytherin smirked, twirling his wand carelessly.  
  
"I heard Weasley further down in the train say you were gay. Is it true?" he asked gleefully. Since Draco Malfoy had tamed down a bit, Blaise Zabini had taken over the job of being a prick. Or at least a prick to Harry. Harry didn't think Draco would *ever* stop acting like an ass in general.  
  
"What of it?" Harry asked in a calculating tone. He pushed his glasses up on his face with a finger as they began to slide down his face.  
  
"You are, aren't you?" Blaise laughed a hard, cold laugh. "Good to know, Cock-Boy."  
  
"You really *are* rather pathetic," Draco sneered by the doorway. "Resorting to childish and rather idiotic names? I'm ashmaned of you Zabini; really, I am. Get out," he said coldly.  
  
"What, are you Golden Boy's lapdog? That's probably wh-" He rambled on, looking smug, not even realizing that a very pleased looking brunette had her wand pointed at him and he was no longer actually saying anything. That is, no sound was coming out. Blasies said something more, and appeared to be pleased that they weren't saying anything back to him as he smirked and made his way out.  
  
Hermione giggled and Draco rolled his eyes. Harry just stared out of the window some more.  
  
"Let's go Mudbl- Granger." Draco said, motioning to the door. "We wouldn't want Captain Grouchy Points to say something *mean*," he said sarcastically. Hermione gave Draco a Look, and smiled sadly at Harry back as she left. Draco scoffed and left as well.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**End Notes**:  
  
Please give me some constructive critisiscm, and not just a 'MORE PLZ!' although those are greatly appreciated. ^.^  
  
If you plan on flaming me, please leave me a way to reach you. I hate wimps who won't own up to what they say.  
  
Please point out Americanisms if you spot any (which you will). I've never BEEN to England/Scotland and places like that, and I'm not sure I want to.  
  
My friend Kat says there are no punk rockers there *cries*.  
  
Would y'all be offended if I put in Hermione/Remus? It's just a thought. Or possibly possibly Hermione/Draco later on? Either way I don't care. Do you think Ron should rethink his asshole-ness and beg for forgiveness? Up To You.  
  
You can either not respond to either questions OR you can email me at ANGELZ_BABYGRRL@HOTMAIL.COM with the subject being "FAN FIC" or something so I won't delete it. Don't leave it blank because then I won't open it.  
  
R/R leave some constructive criticism if you have the time and thanks! ^.^  
  
If you want to be emailed when I update, leave your email in your review and let me know. OR if you like most of my stuff, then why don't you put me on your Author's Alert? I have paid services and so you can do this. ^.^ 


	2. Back to Four Privet Drive I forgot to ...

Title: That's Not What I Wanted ((Pending)).  
  
Rating: PG-13/R Overall  
  
Summary: Harry is in a very serious relationship, with the man he loves more than anything. But a problem arises while at the Dursleys. A mad godfather, pissed werewolf, and scared witless relatives on the way.  
  
Warnings: Slash, MPREG, Teacher/Student relationship (over age of consent).  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Nagini: On my bio page damn you! *shakes fist*  
  
Chibi Psycho-Pyro: You overreact far too much.  
  
Nagini: You've been spending too much time around Black.  
  
JewlzBlack: *grins*  
  
Nagini: THAT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT!  
  
Midori-sama: *scoffs* Idiots.  
  
Chibi Psycho-Pyro: Meep  
  
JewlzBlack: Jeepers!  
  
Midori-sama: What?  
  
Chibi + Jewlz: You sound like... MANGE! *shudder simultaneously*  
  
Mange-Nagini: Does not. She's not nearly creepy enough, nor does her voice hold the proper lack of respect and high enough amount of evilness.  
  
Nagini: ^.^  
  
Midori-sama: *blinks* Okaaaaay.  
  
  
  
Chapter's Rating:  
  
**Begining Notes**: Hiya. Um.... HIYA! ^.^ I just want to let people know that I'll only being doing replies to reviews if there is a specific question needing to be answered, a flame to be fought, or if I just happen to have the time. ^.^ So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't be disspointed if I don't answer your reviews. Oooh! If you leave a really long one I promise to reply to it though. ^.^ Heh. So ask away and ummm stuff! ^.^  
  
I'm REALLY not feeling well, ((I got shingles that are slowly going away)) so I might not be able to get things out quickly, plus I've been out of school for two weeks and I'm going back on Monday, so I'll end up out of whack. I'm going to be trying for one-two chapters per week.  
  
Erm, forgive if I make Petunia Dursley to be at least a somewhat decent person. *twiddles thumbs*  
  
Most of my chapters will be 1,000 to 2,000 words long, depending on how creative I'm feeling. I think I have a 3,000 word long chapter for a fic, but I'm sad to say I'm a writer who writes short chapters and sucky ones at that, taking a moneth to get it out. This, I hope, will be my breakthrough fic to get me to write more.  
  
  
  
******This will be editted for spelling, typos, and grammar once I get some decent sleep. For now, you get the 'I haven't even looked this over yet' version. I apologize for it being short but it seemed a good place to end as any.******  
  
  
  
  
  
CHAPTER TWO: Back to Four Privet Drive  
  
Harry had changed into his muggle garb, consisting of over-sized and ratty clothes which once belonged to Dudley... well, except the jumper he was wearing. That was a Weasley one. He had gotten for Christmas from Mrs. Weasley, a handsome bottle green colour with a small golden snitch over the left breast. He just hoped the Dursleys wouldn't think it to be something magical.  
  
Harry pulled his trunk, with his snowy and loyal owl on top of it, off of Platform 9 3/4, and back to the muggle world. A small rumbly, odd sensation occurred in his stomach, and he bit back the urge to vomit, making a face as he wheeled his trunk up to where his Uncle Vernon was, waiting with Dudley.  
  
"Harry!" Hermione shouted, running over to him, and giving him a small hug and a peck on the cheek, to Dudley's amazement. "Try not to let the Dursleys get you down," she whispered softly into his ear as she patted his back. Harry made an odd face and took a hold of her hand, looking at her questioningly.  
  
"Your ring..." Harry said, breaking off. He could see Malfoy from the corner of his eye, he and his father were talking animatedly, and he looked back into Hermione's brown eyes.  
  
"My ring probably left a dent mark on Ron's forehead," she said briskly, then gave Harry a sad smile. "He'll get over it, I'm sure. We're best friends." Harry nodded, not really believing her, but he didn't want Hermione to make a big deal out of it.  
  
Vernon grunted groughly and once Harry took Hedwig's cage in hand, his uncle took the trunk and went to the care. Harry waved at Hermione and followed his uncle and cousin. Once Harry was in the car, he ran a hand through his tousled hair with a sigh, and then noticing that Dudley was staring at him coldly, he rolled his eyes.  
  
"What?" Harry nearly snapped at him, this had already been a bad enough day as it was. He didn't need Dudley messing it up some more.  
  
"Was that your freak girlfriend?" Dudley said with an eyebrow raised. Harry snorted. Girlfriend. Yeah right. Harry smirked and shook his head.  
  
"No, just a friend." Harry said monotonously, tapping his foot up and down. Hermione had a small crush on him in Fifth year... that was when he told her he was gay. The bushy-haired bookworm had been startled, but after a day of silence she welcomed him with open arms. Although she had been a bit put-out that she would never have a chance with Harry. Dudley interrupted his thought with a loud snigger.  
  
"I knew it. You couldn't ever get a girlfriend if you tried. You're too dorky," the fat blob sneered. Harry wanted to laugh at just how wrong that was; if he really wanted to date someone, just to say he had a girlfriend, he could probably have any with girl of his liking in a heartbeat.  
  
Of course that wasn't going to happen; ever. Not only did the thought of kissing a girl give him the hives, but he was perfectly content with his Potions Master.  
  
"If you insist, Dudley," Harry said with a shrug. /Don't let him get to you, Harry, don't let him, don't let him get to you, don't *let* him..../ "Do *you* have a girlfriend?" Harry asked casually with a smirk in his mind, tapping on the inside door handle.  
  
"No," Dudley sputtered indignantly, trying to think up a good excuse why not. Harry smiled at him.  
  
"Then you shouldn't be so rude about me not having one either," Harry said lightly, glad Vernon was too busy yelling at the radio station's talk show to hear Harry.  
  
Dudley mumbled something incoherantly, and glared at Harry, who was more than content to look out the window again.  
  
*****  
  
The car parked outside of 4 Privet Drive, and Dudley jumped out of the car faster than Harry thought the obese boy could move, and Vernon unlocked the trunk of the car. Harry sighed, unbuckling his belt and stared at the house. He was back, back with the Dursleys, back with muggles. He got out of the car and took Hedwig's cage out, setting it down in the front hallway of the house, as he went back for his trunk.  
  
Hauling it out of the car, he opened it, looking around shiftily and quickly snuck his invisibilty cloak out, and shoved it under his baggy, sagging clothes to hide it.  
  
"Hurry up boy!" Vernon yelled from inside, "We don't want this bird around, smelling up the house!" he said cruelly.  
  
"Coming!" Harry shouted, dragging the trunk best he could, and wishing he had put a lightweight charm on it back on the train. As soon as it was inside, Vernon grabbed it and shoved the trunk into the little cupboard under the stairs, and locked it up tightly. No less than Harry had expected. Harry quickly grabbed Hedwig's cage and went up the stairs quickly into his room.  
  
He could hear Dudley whining downstairs as his Aunt started making dinner, the smell of ham wafting up through the air vents. As Harry smelled it, he turned green from the smell, and he raced to the bathroom and began retching. Ever since three weeks ago he smelled breakfast ham in the Great Hall, he'd been getting sick from the smell ever since.  
  
*****  
  
"Duddydums, why don't you go upstairs and wash up for dinner," Petunia said lovingly, as she checked the asparagus that was busy steaming away on the stove.  
  
Dudley nodded, thudding up the stairs and as he reached the top step, he heard an awful gagging sound. Tentatively, he walked around the corner of the hallway to see the bathroom door half-open and Harry bent over the toilet, clutching his stomach. Wide-eyed, the larger boy thudded right back down the stairs into the kitchen.  
  
"Did you wash up? That was rather quick," Petunia said with a raised eyebrow. Dudley shook his head and made a face.  
  
"Harry's in the bathroom throwing up," Dudley said in a whiny voice. Petunia frowned. /He'll be cleaning that toilet bowl until it's completely spotless before *he* gets any dinner,/ she thought to herself.  
  
"Alright, well then use the kitchen sink," she said, wiping her hands on a dishtowel and looking up the stairs. "That boy better not have brought home some freak disease," she said in an undertone.  
  
*****  
  
Splashing his face with cool water, Harry looked in the mirror of the sink as he wiped his face off with a towel. /What's wrong with me?/ he moaned in thought. Harry glanced at his wristwatch and groaned. He checked quicvkly to make sure he didn't drip any vomit onto the toilet, then went back into his room, lying down on the bed, feeling better nearly immediately to his shock.  
  
"I should probably owl Severus, see if he can figure out what's wrong with me," he whispered to himself.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: Harry owls Severus and there is a nifty flashback of slashy Sevvie/Harry goodness.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
End notes:  
  
I've never been pregnant and hope I never will be, so I was just wondering if you could either direct me to an informative site on pregnancies, or tell me a little about it, just so I don't screw up the whole fic. ^.^ It would be doubly appreciated!  
  
ARGH! I once claimed I would NEVER become the type of person who's Author Notes would be longer than my chapter. SO if I end up continuing writing the responses to the reviews, I might just put it on my website and link you. &.& *dizzy*  
  
  
  
  
  
(((Reviews as of: 5:20 p.m. Eastern Time 11/20/02 [except Alex's] -- I'll get to the rest next chapter, sorry y'all)))  
  
  
  
WOW!!!! Within an HOUR of posting I had NINE reviews and an E-Mail! I love you guys! *huggles all* Thanks!  
  
And then... *stutters noislessly* Wow. I got so many reviews. *drools at the sight of them and dances around happily*  
  
  
  
((Thank you, Whimp, I had compeltely forgotten about that. I changed a line or two. Yes, it's a bit overly dramatic, but once this is finished I plan on going over it and fixing things. for now I'd rather just put up more. ^.^ I also have a bad tendency to over-react. *blushes* Whoever said he would be back at Hogwarts? ^.^ Even if I divulged into a Remus/Hermione ((^.^)) romance, it doesn't mean he would have to be at Hogwarts. Good point on the Draco/Hermione bit though. I'd have to develop the friendship first, and his with Harry is already slightly rocky as it is. It would take ages for him to be attracted to a mudblood. Thank-you!)))  
  
  
  
((Thanks for the e-mail, Michelle! Really? Punk rockers..... *drools* Well then! ^.^ *hops on a plain to the UK* Thanks for the insight! ^.^)))  
  
  
  
((Artemis Luna Diana, heya! ^.^ I would seperate the prologue and 1st chapter, but I'd really hate for it to look like a two chaptered fic being less than 2000 words. Perhaps later on in the story I'll work something like that out. ^.^ Thanks! I luv MPREG stories, and there needs to be more Harry MPREGed fics, period. When I finish this one I'm considering doing a Harry/Voldemort MPREG (tricky pairing there) fic, but I don't want to seem boring with being the weirdo who keeps making out hero pregnant. lol. Hermione knew he was gay, but she doesn't know about Severus. Darn. I'll fix that in the re-write, so I'll be keeping your review (I have review- alert) in my FANFIC Email folder so I'll remember it down the road. Thank you. I think I know a way to get Remus and Hermione together without it being TOO weird. If it doesn't work out, I'll try for HG/DM if the readers don't dissaprove. ^.^))  
  
  
  
((Hi WM! Thanks for the review! Actually, yesh, Harry shall be pregnant. *devious grin* If I don't pair up Remus with Hermione, I really don't see him with anyone else, except maybe Lucius Malfoy ((too hard to do in this fic, so I won't)) because I'm really a Remus/Sev shipper at heart. While Sirius/Remus is cute, I got tired of reading how they're together in nearly every fic that people like having slash. (But if a lot of people want it I might put a little bit in on the side.) lol. ^.^ Yeah, if I let Ron off the hook there will be a LOT of groveling, I assure you. Currently I hate the weasel, but hey. ^.^)))  
  
  
  
((Thanks SilverMoon! W00t! Another Remus/Hermione yay voter. *drools* Yeah, well Dray, while I hate to admit it, is an asshole. ^.^ I'm updating, aren't I? ^.^)))  
  
  
  
((Rachel! Sorry, Hermione/Weasley makes me ill. They will NOT be getting back together. *shudders* Sorry hun. *cries* Unfortunately Sevvie, for while, will only be showing up in flashbacks and little cut overs to his P.O.V. at Hogwarts. *sighs* Hopefully I'll be able to wrangle him in soon ^.^ Lol! I know a few differences and such, but my friend from Ireland keeps griping how American I make my Harry Potter peoples. Lol.)))  
  
  
  
((*hugs Nymphean* Awww! ^.^ Thank you!!!! It's scary, usually after I've written the first chapter to a fic, I have no interest in continuing. I hope this will be my big fic, because currently the only "long fic" I have is full of EVIL Mary-Sues. *grins* Thank god I learned to stop writing them in a while back. Yeah, I'm leaning sort of towards Ron being forgiven, but I'm not 100% positive yet. And if he is, it'll be later on in the story, but major guilt trips for Ronniekins squished in. ^.^ Yeah, I usually jump straight into their friendship *blushes awkwardly* but this time I wanted to make it more realistic. *huggles the Remus/Hermione fan* Yay. ^.^ Yeah, I SO do not see Severus being NOT his sarcastic self, even if he IS in love. He wouldn't be Snape then! ^.^ Thank you!))  
  
  
  
((Thank you bramblerose! Argh. *smacks forehead* I hate it when I go and do things like that. This is what I get for watching Anime too often. Somewhere along the line I'll edit that bit. *smacks Ron* Thanks for bringing it to my attention though! ^.^))  
  
((Shinigami! ^.^ Actually Harry has no clue he's pregnant yet. He thinks it's just stomach problems. Oh You'll see........ Actually I'm too into Remus/Sev or Remus/Harry or Remus/Hermione to do a Sirius/Remus, UNLESS a lot of people mention they're like to see it. lol! That is a rather amusing idea! Thankiez!^.^))  
  
  
  
((Redone ^.^- ASHMANED! ^.^ lol. Say it out loud, it sounds funny. SS/HG is rather sweet, but I like slashyness slightly more. Maybe one of these days I'll get to finishing my one shot HG/SS fic. (If I ever find it.) Okay, one more for HG/DM ^.^)))  
  
((Thanks for the helpful criticism rebecca!Yeah, I know I should get one, *sigh*, I'm just so anxious to get this fic out. ^.^ I'm pretty sure it's 'pouf', but a few people pointed that out and I already changed it. ^.^ Yeah, I know, the typo deal. I'm sort of one of those people. *hits her evil compy* T'has no spell check. *grumbles* Thank you!)))  
  
((Lei Dumbledore.... *stutters* *dies* My gawd. Y-y-you reviewed my ficcy? *faints* ^.^ *hugs* THANK YOU! Yeah, Ron based on a 98% chance will be feeling very guilty and ashamed and shall be begging for forgiveness. *points and laughs at Ron* Er.. *coughs* Sw33t. Tankiez!)))  
  
((Deity- *meeps* Hihi! ^.^ Thank you! lol. Ron Muse, *chuckles*. No, certainly NOT two months. ^.^))  
  
(((AtieJen ^.^ NEVER enough! ^.^ .... OMG!!! *squeals* I love your Harry Potter works!!!! *dies* YOU RULE! *hugs tightly* I have one of your Harry/Lucius fics on my fave list too ^.^!!! IN FACT! That fic inspired me to work on a notebook fic (a fic I work on while I'm school when I get bored). Thank you so much for writing such awesome angsty stuff an WRITE MROE of that Harry/Luci goodness! ^.^ I love PoU!!! Are you going to write more for FOM?))  
  
***EVERYONE!!! If you like HARRY/LUCIUS slash I *highly* reccomend Atie's Periods of Unrest and For One Moment!!!! ((((http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=159885))))***  
  
((Alex, I might end up doing so, but if I do it will be later in the fanfic. I don't want to bring up the rating until it needs to go up. When I finish this one, I have three different stories I might be posting, and one of those three candidates is a HP/TMR MPREG fic. Another one is a HP/DM one that might end up MPREG near the end. *shruggs* Anyhoo- glad you like this fic. I actually don't really like it because it's so... unfinished and so... childish I suppose. UNFORTUNATELY, being fourteen is NO excuse to write sloppily! ^.^))  
  
  
  
  
  
Thank you all for reviewing:  
  
Creamy Mimi,  
  
Egyptian Mistress Isis,  
  
J. Lynn ((Thanks! I love the Drakester!)),  
  
ancientegypt14 ((I don't plan to- No worries.)),  
  
Darkflame ((Yesh it went WAY too fast. *sigh*)),  
  
Charzy ((lol! Me too!)),  
  
Abby ((Hope you got my e-mail!)),  
  
Mikee ((lol, thankiez! ^.^)),  
  
Random Insanity ((Thanks hun! ^.^ And I'll try to work on actions further on down the road! ^.^)),  
  
moj ((hehe. HG/DM/RL eh? lol. I'm almost daring enough to try that, but I don't want to freak anyone out. lol. Maybe I'll do that as a ficlet or songfic sometime though! *giggles* Thanks!)),  
  
Jacquie ((I try)),  
  
Melissa,  
  
Naraelien Endliste ((^.^)),  
  
Lesa ((W00t, w00t!)),  
  
Jessika,  
  
Phoenix,  
  
ray,  
  
Mister/Miss Anonymous person who didn't leave a name,  
  
Lee Lee Potter,  
  
and  
  
Sadie.  
  
  
  
If I missed anyone that left a review before 5:20 p.m. Eastern Time 11/20/02, well then you can have a cookie of apology right now. 


	3. What's Wrong With Me?

Disclaimer:

If you think I own H. P.- hardy har.

What the hell'd you smoke?

I don't own it, it's J.K.R.'s

So don't sue me; 'cuz I'm broke.

Rating: RP-13

This chapter is dedicated to Lee Lee Potter, thank you *hugs* for her help and nice long email, and to my fellow RPG buddies who are all probably disgusted that I'm writing a SS/HP fic, never mind the fact that I have a twinscesty and slashy twin on the boards. ((Especially Kimmy 'cuz she freaked over me drooling over Clex ficcies.)) Also to Scratches 'cause she's mah RL/LM fic buddy, and lastly to AtieJen 'cause she's the one who hooked me on Clexness. &.& Whoa.

Sorry, no reply to replies this time. I feel like shit and this has taken WAY too long as it is to get out. *looks around guiltily* I've been obsessed with Clex to a point where I haven't been reading much HP fan fiction at all, let alone writing any. I'm also working on my novel.

KEY:

"..." = speech

~~...~~ = written word

/.../ = thoughts

_italics = emphasis _

+++...+++ = flashback

Are my muses annoying or can you deal with the-?

Chibi Psycho-Pyro: Hiii! ^.^

JewlzBlack: *tackles Chibi* DIE FIEND!

Midori-sama: O.o What'd she do?

Mange-Nagini: *looks on amused*

JewlzBlack: She spilled WildCherry-Pepsi on my manga!

Nagini: *dryly* The horror.

Midori-sama: *gasps* Must... KILL!!!!!

Chibi Psycho-Pyro: MEEP! *hides*

*****

:::LAST CHAPTER:::

Splashing his face with cool water, Harry looked in the mirror of the sink as he wiped his face off with a towel. /What's wrong with me?/ he moaned in thought. Harry glanced at his wristwatch and groaned. He checked quickly to make sure he didn't drip any vomit onto the toilet, then went back into his room, lying down on the bed, feeling better nearly immediately to his shock.

"I should probably owl Severus, see if he can figure out what's wrong with me," he whispered to himself.

*****

Harry realized, to his dismay, that he hadn't had the common sense to pull out his school books or any writing utensils when he had recovered his Invisibility Cloak from his trunk. He didn't want to over-use the 'godfather' ploy to get things, so instead, Harry pulled on the Cloak, and after checking to make sure he was alone upstairs, crept quietly into Dudley's room, which was impeccably clean.

/Aunt Petunia's doing, no doubt,/ Harry thought to himself, snatching some lined paper from a tray on Dudley's rarely-used desk, and a pencil, and stealthily went back into his own room, without anyone downstairs hearing him move about.

He stashed most of the paper in his 'cubby hole' hidden by the loose floorboard, except for three or four pieces. Flipping on the small desk lamp, /Gods, did I miss electricity!/, and settling himself down, he tapped his paper, trying to figure out what to say.

~~Dear Severus,~~ Harry paused, debating in his mind what to write next.

~~I miss you.~~ /Well there's a start./

~~I haven't been feeling well still, I've been throwing up more often. I'm just sort of starting to think maybe seeing Madam Pomfrey would have been a good idea.~~ /He's right, as practically always,/ Harry thought with a wry smile.

~~I was wondering if there was any way you could find out what's wrong with me.~~ /Does that sound too... too something?/

~~Love You Always, H.~~

Harry nodded in satisfaction, and just hoped it wouldn't rain on Hedwig's way to Severus. Notebook paper was far less resistant to the elements than parchment. Letting Hedwig from her cage, he tied the letter to her outstretched leg.

"Take this to Sev, okay Hedwig?" Harry asked, and Hedwig gave a small hoot of indignation and flew out of the house as Harry opened the window. As she flew off, further and further away, Harry chuckled, remembering the first time he had asked Hedwig to take Severus a letter.

+++Flashback+++

Invisibility cloak covering his body, Harry sneaked down through the castle into the dungeons, slowly making his way to Severus' chambers, trying not to make too much noise, desperate not to get caught.

Although... maybe if he was caught, then Professor Snape might give him a detention. That was an uplifting thought. But no, Harry wanted to do it this way. No one would even know he was down there; except Severus.

Quietly opening Severus' main door to his private office and quarters with a whispered password, he looked around, not seeing Severus. So after bypassing the desk, he opened the door to Severus' quarters.

The sitting room was not all green and silver, as one might truly think at first glance of Severus Snape. No, in fact it was done up in mainly cream colours and blues. There was a worn, and very much used armchair on one side of the room with a small table next to it, where a glass with scotch sat happily, chilling itself in the ice, and a thick book. There was also a very nice looking couch, which could only be described as 'squishable'.

Severus walked in from his bedroom, wearing only a dark hunter green bathrobe, and to Harry's shock, fuzzy blue slippers that he had never seen in Sev's closet. Harry nearly blew his cover by giggling, but he had lucky clamped his mouth onto his hand to keep from making the noise. He wanted this visit to be a surprise. Severus' hair was damp, as if he had just gotten out of the shower or a bath.

Severus sat back in his armchair, taking a sip of his drink, and taking the book from the table, opening it to read. He tucked back a few lingering locks of black hair behind his ear, and slowly twisted a few strands between his slender, nimble fingers.

Harry slipped over soundlessly to Severus, tickling the heel of Severus' foot, the only part that lay bare, wanting to giggle to himself. The Potions Master, usually gathered and calm, snorted and sat completely upright, shaking his foot softly. Calming down after a moment, he settled back down, only to have his foot tickled yet again. Pulling his foot back he glared at the exact spot that Harry stood.

"Get out from under that blasted thing and come here," Severus snapped. With a sigh, Harry stripped the cloak from his body and tossed it onto a nearby chair, crawling up into Severus' lap, taking the drink and book from his hands and setting them on the stand next to the chair.

"Miss me?" Harry said with a mischievous smirk on his face, his hair more tousled than usual from the way he tore of the invisibility cloak.

"Of course not you obnoxious brat," Severus spoke sarcastically, and breathed softly, pulling Harry to his chest and kissing him soundly. After Harry finally pulled away from the long-lasting kiss, his lips looking thoroughly red and seemed as if they had been kissed for hours on end, he smiled serenely.

"Sure seems like you missed me," he said, his knees on either side of Severus' legs, sitting on his lover's lap, and rubbing his thigh gently.

"Well, if that's the impression you got then I might as well go along with that," Severus said slyly, leaning forward, capturing Harry's lips with his own, extracting a small moan from the Gryffindor.

"Be my guest," Harry mumbled from around the kiss as their lips changed positions. A few minutes later, breathless and looking completely well-snogged, they pulled apart.

"So is there an actual purpose of you coming down here to surprise me or was it just a spur-of-the-moment type of thing?" Severus asked, all of his attention on Harry's lips, a finger running slowly over them.

"Well the surprising you bit was me being spontaneous. But I do need to talk to y-" but Harry was cut off from a loud voice from Severus' fireplace.

"Snape! Where the bloody hell are you?!" Lucius Mafoy's voice rang through the sitting room and the taller man sighed bitterly, snatching Harry's cloak up quickly, wrapping it around him.

"Owl me," he whispered, placing a small kiss on Harry's forehead and standing up, pulling Harry up with him.

"Lucius, how… _pleasant to hear from you," he said snidely, turning towards the fireplace, smoothing out his hair as Harry sighed softly, leaving the cold dungeons._

"Owl him; sure," Harry said frowning, and headed to the Owlry.

Writing the letter wasn't hard, as he finished writing it in only a few minutes, but choosing an owl to do it was the hard part. The only owl he trusted to get it to Severus safely was Hedwig, but she was easily recognizable as his owl. But she would have to do.

"Here Hedwig," he said softly, tying the letter to her leg securely. "Take this to Severus." Hedwig sat there, staring at the boy cluelessly and Harry blinked.

"Take it to Snape?" he said unsure as to what she would recognize him by.

"Take it to the Potions Professor?" he tried again fruitlessly, getting slightly annoyed. "Please?"

Still the owl wouldn't budge, cocking her head slightly at her owner.

Letting out a growl of frustration, Harry searched his brain. "Take this to that slimy, greasy git!" he tried one last time. Hedwig, unsurprisingly, hooted and took flight of the Owlry. Shaking his head in disbelief, Harry let out a soft chuckle, heading back down to Gryffindor Tower.

+++End Flashback+++

Harry sat back on his bed, trying not to move around too much as he stared at the ceiling. He just hoped Severus knew what was wrong with him. Or could tell him what was wrong with him. Although he did expect Severus to be a bit pissed off with him for not having gone to Madam Pomfrey's like Severus had told him to.

Harry honestly thought it was just a small stomach bug, who knew what was wrong with him?

My gods. I wrote the first half of this in two days, and the second half in all of a half of an hour. *blinks* I should have sat down to write this a LONG time ago. I just kept getting distracted. Anyhoo, please reply and I'll honestly try to reply to any questions you review for in chapter three.

P.s.: I got a SPELL CHECK! FINALLY!!! ^.^ Woot Woot. Go Kristen. ^.^ lol.

I have chapters four and five already written, so after a short number of days or a considerable amount of reviews, I shall update. I'm working on and Interlude and chapter six now.


	4. Pernickle's 24 Hour PICKLE Allergy?

Disclaimer:

*sing to old Goldfish jingle*

I love to slash 'em 'cause they're so delicious, I don't own this!

Just the plo-ot.

*nods*

UMMMMMMM, hi! ^.^ I really do love this ficcy. *hugs it tightly* Thanks for your reviews!

                The reason Harry hasn't found out he's pregnant yet is because I REALLY don't want to rush this story, like I usually end up doing.

                Harry, right now, is about a month along, and it's the middle of June, meaning he'll be showing before leaving for school. Don't worry. I know exactly what I'm doing. ^.^ Sorta. ^.~

Chapter Rating: Ummm. I'd say PG for foolish language.

+++

!!!Last Chapter!!!:

Harry sat back on his bed, trying not to move around too much as he stared at the ceiling. He just hoped Severus knew what was wrong with him. Or could tell him what was wrong with him. Although he did expect Severus to be a bit pissed off with him for not having gone to Madam Pomfrey's like Severus had told him to.

Harry honestly thought it was just a small stomach bug, who knew what was wrong with him?

+++

Severus looked down at the parchment Hedwig delivered only mere minutes ago with a sigh.

_Dear Severus, _

_I miss you. I haven't been feeling well still, I've been throwing up more often. I'm just sort of starting to think maybe seeing Madam Pomfrey would have been a good idea. I was wondering if there was any way you could find out what's wrong with me._

_Love You Always,_

_H._

                It just figured the boy would be getting even sicker. _Wonderful. Severus sighed, thumbing through his potion books on healing and health in general, and found a book entitled, 'Magical (and non-magical) Ailments and How to Treat Them' __by Jeslam Carrigan. Flipping through the pages, he nodded to himself, noting that it listed all of the symptoms for each ailment, and snapped the book shut in one hand. Gently petting Hedwig's feather's he took out and owl treat to let her munch on while he started to pen a letter to Harry._

_Harry-_

_I know how much you dislike for me to point out when I am right and you are clearly__ wrong, so I won't this time. Perhaps next time you'll take my advice. I'm sending along this book, as you'd know your symptoms better than I would. I hope you feel better by the time you return so I won't have to hear your whining. If you need a specific potion made, just owl me via Hedwig. I don't want you poisoning yourself, knowing how abysmal you are at making potions. I miss you as well, these rooms are terribly lonely without someone around to make an intolerable level of noise in them._

_Love,_

_S._

Severus cast a quick spell on the ink so it would dry instantly, and rolled the parchment up into a small tube, quickly fastening it to Hedwig's leg as she silently finished the treat.

"Have a drink," he said pointing to a small bowl of water on the worktable, "and then get out. I have work to do. Make sure you deliver that to Harry, and no one else." Applying a quick water-proof charm on the parchment, he left the workroom, poking his head in a few minutes later, and saw that the snowy owl had taken flight.

Harry sighed into the dirty dishwater; his hands were already becoming wrinkled and pruny as he worked on the dishes in the sink. Aunt Petunia had made him clean out the toilet that evening, and then snapped at him when he told her he wasn't feeling up to eating dinner that evening and avoided the kitchen until the smell of their meal had aired out of the room. With a sigh, he considered his choices carefully.

He had owled Professor Dumbledore earlier about possibly spending part of his summer away from the Dursleys. According to the wizard, the only way would be if he had a blood relative alive, but as it was, all of the Potter line except himself had been wiped out and the less muggles of the Evans knew about the magical realm, the better. Besides, the closer the blood tie was, the safer _he was._

This whole blood-relative business made Harry's head spin, and he just wished that something else could be done. As he finished washing the last of the dishes he set to work on the rest of the kitchen, making sure everything was spotless. The cleaner it was _now, the less he would have to clean __tomorrow._

An hour later Harry climbed the stairs to his bedroom, feeling slightly faint, but ignoring it as he sat onto his small bed, noting Hedwig was back with a smile.

"Hey there girl," he said, standing up, and walking over to her and opening her cage door for her. Gently removing the letter, he opened it to Severus' familiar spidery scrawl. Reading it over, he noticed the parcel sitting on his small desk. With a small smile, he opened it, and took the book over to his bed, lying down.

He started flipping through the pages of the book, mentally crossing off things he might have. He skipped over the few things he knew he couldn't possibly have wrong with him, such as _Pernickle's__ 24 Hour Pickle Allergy, or Pregnancy, or __Pruny__ Toes Syndrome. Who knew so many different ailments started with the letter 'P'? Harry spent a good few hours reading over the book, not finding a single thing that connected with whatever was wrong with him, and threw the book down onto the bed with a sigh._

"S'pose I'll have to try again tomorrow after I get some sleep. I probably skipped a page or something," he muttered to himself skeptically, knowing he _hadn't skipped a page while reading. Putting the book in the floorboard along with his trusty cloak, and setting his glasses onto the desk, he burrowed into the lumpy pillow and pulled up his blanket and soon after drifted asleep._

Harry rubbed his eyes sleepily as his Aunt Petunia rapped on the door loudly for him to wake up. Standing up awkwardly, he groped around the desk for his glasses, fumbling to put them on straight. Harry sighed, wishing he had gone to sleep a little earlier, and turned faintly green, running to the bathroom and closing the door quickly, began to vomit into the bowl.

Once his stomach calmed down, he splashed some cold water onto his face and brushed his teeth. After running a comb through his hair he quickly cleaned out the toilet bowl before Aunt Petunia could start screeching at him to do so. Harry hated feeling this sick; he had never felt this bad in his life, at least not from a cold or flu or even a stomach bug.

After washing up and getting dressed, Harry gave another offering to the porcelain god, then, after giving it another cleaning, headed downstairs.

"What took you so damned long?" Petunia asked with a scowl, breaking an egg over a frying pan. Her blonde hair was pulled back away from her face elegantly, but it did nothing to make her face any more pleasing to the eye.

"Sorry Aunt Petunia. I, er… I haven't been feeling well," he muttered, starting to set the table. His aunt gave him a severe look and went back to cooking breakfast.

"You better not have brought back some freak disease," she said snippily. Harry's eyes widened in horror; he hadn't even thought about something like that. What if he had something that sometimes happened to people with magic, but what if it was contagious… and fatal to muggles?! He had heard about things like that from Madam Pomfrey, what with all of the time he spent in the Hospital Wing. Muggles didn't have any of enough magic to fight the disease in their blood.

"What are you looking at? Get back to work!" she snapped, and Harry complied reflexively. The day went on as usual, working most of the day, tiring himself out. He only threw up once more as the day progressed, thankfully. He was getting a little tired of cleaning out the toilet. 

Night rolled around, and Harry flopped onto his bed, pulling the book onto his stomach as he opened to a random page, skimming. Throwing up in the morning, slightly larger appetite, etc., etc… Harry had all of these symptoms! Shocked, Harry looked at the top of the page and nearly fainted on spot. Apparently… he was pregnant.

Short, yes. Do I care? No. It looked like a good place to stop at the moment and I had little more to say. Narf.

REVIEW PLEASE! ^.^


	5. Help Me Hermione!

Disclaimer In Caveman Speak:

Me no Own, Ugga, Ugga.

You No Sue, Ugga, Ugga.

Lawyers Icky, Ugga, Ugga.

No Taste Like Chicken, Ugga, Ugga.

This chapter is Rated ***R*** for sexual content between HARRY POTTER and SEVERUS SNAPE. Don't like it? Skip it. It's marked. In addition, PG-13 in other places for baaad words.

Midori-sama: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedeeladeedee, there they are a-standing in a row! Bum, bum, bum! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your hea-

Chibi Psycho-Pyro: Die Mutinous Scum!

Midori-sama: Nani? [What?] Has she gone mad?

JewlzBlack: _Gone? She's been there, hun. For a __long time._

Chibi Psycho Pyro: *grumbles* I resemble that remark.

Nagini: *not looking up from a card-game of Solitaire* We know.

+++

LAST CHAPTER:

Night rolled around, and Harry flopped onto his bed, pulling the book onto his stomach as he opened to a random page, skimming. Throwing up in the morning, slightly larger appetite, etc., etc… Harry had all of these symptoms! Shocked, Harry looked at the top of the page and nearly fainted on spot. Apparently,… he was pregnant.

+++

Rated at a high R:

                Harry bent over his lover's still form, placing a gentle kiss onto his cheek. Gazing serenely at the sleeping man, he thought about how calm Severus always seemed when he was sleeping, as if he hadn't a care in the world. And while he hated to ruin this picture of innocence… he was _really aroused. And besides, he was sixteen, what sixteen-year-old male __isn't randy and wanting some action?_

                Lying next to Severus, he gently placed kisses down his bare chest, leaving a trail of them leading down to his boxer shorts, licking the flesh right under his bellybutton, which had dark short hairs, trailing down to his pubic region. Grinning like a fool on the inside, Harry slowly lifted the elastic band over his erection, and pulled them off of Severus' legs gently, kissing down a pale thigh and calf. Nipping gently at Severus' ankle, he dropped the boxers over the edge of the bed, making wet kissed up the other leg, cupping his lover's ass.

"So gorgeous," Harry whispered to himself softly, gently parting Severus' legs, trying not to rouse him from his slumber. Settling himself between his legs, Harry set to work, wrapping his lips around Severus' erection, he began to bob his head in a slow rhythm, licking and sucking all at once.

Severus made a moan in the back of his throat, slowly waking up, and blinked, biting back a loud groan as Harry lifted himself from Severus with a big grin on his face.

"Hello _sweetheart," Harry said with an evil grin as Severus shifted uncomfortably, wanting that warm, wet heat wrapped around him again._

"I thought I told you not to call me that; ever," Severus said sourly. "I also told you to finish what you start," he said, not really mad, just hot as hell and wanting more. He lifted himself up onto his elbows and looked at Harry seriously.

"And how often do I ever listen to you?" Harry said with a smile, crawling up onto Severus, running a hand through his long hair.

"Rarely if ever," Severus smirked, kissing Harry soundly, causing the younger man to moan loudly into his mouth as his hand stroked Harry's erection through his robes. Harry never wore anything under them when he came to visit in the night. He pulled the robes up, slipping his hand in and took hold of-

Rated PG-13:

                Harry groaned in disappointment as he awoke from his dream, letting out a frustrated sigh. He missed Severus, and –

                "Holy _shit, I'm pregnant." Harry's thought instantly turned from aroused to worried. How could this have happened?! And how could he have fallen asleep while his thoughts should be on something __else!? Like potentially being __pregnant!_

                '_Well I wouldn't be surprised this happened if I was a GIRL__!' Harry's thoughts screamed at him. He could hardly believe what was going on. '__Oh yes, I'm just so pleased that I'm such a freak__ that I'm frigging pregnant__!' Harry's mind raced. '__Well… maybe it's just a fluke, or… maybe… maybe I'm just imagining things or… something! Hermione! __Hermione will know if a guy can get pregnant or not! She knows everything. I mean, I can't exactly ask Severus, he'll either think I'm weird or freak out, and I can't even imagine how embarrassing how embarrassing it would be to ask Dumbledore, and considering I haven't written to Remus in gods-know-how long he'll probably think it suspicious for me to owl him out of the blue on something like that, and I know Sirius will automatically assume the worst and- Okay. Calm. Down.__ I can get through this. Pen. Paper. Owl. I have these things. Write… can I even write? Wait. I can write. Okay. Letter to Hermione. Breathe. I can do this.' Harry's thoughts were a scrambled mess and if he couldn't even think straight and not panic, how would he get to writing a letter without making a fool of himself?_

                Pulling out a piece of paper and the pencil, he bit his lip and decided to go with a neutral approach. Not lie to her, but not outright say he thinks he might be pregnant. '_Although, if it's at all possible for a guy to get pregnant in the wizarding world, then Hermione will automatically know,' Harry thought with a frustrated groan._

                He decided to take the chance of her knowing, so he would know for himself.

_Dear Hermione,_

_How's your summer so far? Are you having fun or are you just doing all of your homework at once? /Right Harry, try with the casual approach. Letter to a friend. You can do this./ __Make sure you get out some. I hope you aren't too upset over Ron, and if you are, don't be. I'm not. /Blatant lie./ __Anyway, I was just wondering, what with all that's been going on, is it possible for a guy to get pregnant? Like a wizard? That's been nagging at me for a while now. /Yeah, if you count a half an hour of being __awake a __while./ __I figured if anyone would know, it would be you. Anyway, I was just wondering, and wanted to make sure you weren't working away like a crazy person and wasting your summer, or being upset over Ron. He'll come around. At least to you. /I hope./_

_Lots of Love,_

_Harry_

Harry slapped his forehead, and groaned, _really hoping this was just a complete accident on his behalf of being worried._

It was probably nothing…. Yeah right.

Hermione took her brush through her long bushy hair, opening a letter from Viktor. The two had decided to be just friends, as they were constantly too far apart to really be close in a relationship. Well, that and Hermione thought he was too into Quidditch to really be of a complete interest to her romantically. She also had much more of a taste in fair-haired men.

"Heck, if Malfoy wasn't such a git, I'd think he was attractive," she muttered to herself, reading over the contents of the letter. Viktor went wild in this one, terribly excited about his last Quidditch game apparently. She refused to admit to herself that she thought that Draco was _very attractive.  At a 'click, clicking' sound, she turned her attention to the window, where Hedwig tapped at her window impatiently. Standing up, and quickly tying back her hair with a ponytail fastener, she lifted up the window and the snowy owl glided inside, landing on her dresser._

"Hi Hedwig," she said with a smile, quickly shutting it again, so as not to let the chilly night air in. "Give me a moment and I'll go get you some water." Hermione walked out her room, straightening her nightgown, and walked back in with a small bowl of water a few minutes later.

Carefully retrieving the letter from Hedwig's leg, she smiled at the animal and read the letter over quickly, a frown on her face, but not from being upset.

"Why on earth would Harry want to know something like _that?" she muttered to herself, absently stroking Hedwig's soft feathers. Writing a quick, yet overly thorough response, she knitted her brow in confusion. Could Harry possibly be…?_

No. He couldn't _possibly…. Well, __technically…._

He couldn't be. He just couldn't. And that was final.

R/R please! ^.^ *sings to Meow Mix theme:* I like chicken I like liver, but I like re-views more than dinner!


	6. Interlude and Chapter 6A

Disclaimer:

Refer back to other chapters. I'm too lazy to write ANOTHER one.

This is chapter six AND a humorous little interlude. You can thank Missie Lupin (aka Jess!!!!!!!!!), my best friend, for the idea. ^.^ You get the interlude because…….. You guys gave me more reviews than any other fic I have. THANK YOU!

P.s. I'm basing this that Harry gets out of school on the 21st of June. So he _got pregnant around May 10 or so. June 10, he'd be a month along, July 10th is two months along, and August 10th is 3 months along, etc., and he'll start showing around his birthday._

                **Interlude: _Sirius! There's a Difference Between Adult Bookshops and Public Libraries._**

                Sirius drummed his fingers on the tabletop listlessly, nearly bored to tears. Remus was out attending a meeting with Dumbledore and Snape, and afterwards would be getting groceries, leaving the escaped convict to his own devices. Remus, of course, was very wary of leaving the man who, while very mature when it came to life-or-death situations, certainly still held the mind of a twenty-two-year-old, alone in the house.

Sirius, in an effort to do _something, had already flipped through every 'QuidditchMonthly Magazine' in the house, ogling at both the brooms and "chicks" in them, sent out fourteen different prank howlers on people he had never heard of and ordered gods-know-how-many potion orders to different people. All in all, he had done everything he could think of to do for fun, except…._

READ PORN!

                The prankster got an evil little grin on his face as he ransacked the house, searching for a dirty magazine or anything or the sort. Dirty socks, musty old robes, even the occasional old 70's poster lying around. But Remus was too… grown up for porn it seemed. Sirius sighed in frustration, throwing another book around and stared at the mess he made, noticing a large yellow book lying on a table. He flipped casually through the pages, seeing hundred and thousands of addresses and weird numbers that made no sense to him. But the addresses….

Twenty minutes later Sirius had successfully looked up the address of an adult store.

Unfortunately for him, he read it wrong.

He left the house, wandering around in a grey T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and in a pair of jeans that fit quite snugly. He passed Main Street, slowly seeing a large white building. He gave it an odd look, but then read the numbers on the edge of the building and shrugged. As weird as it looked, it must be it.

He failed to notice the words: 'Public Library' inscribed over the door.

Sirius' gaze trailed over the numerous bookshelves, and his expression turned to utter glee. This had to be the _biggest porn store in all of existence! He went searching through the book titles, slowly looking them over and frowned. No pictures. Maybe they only sold porn-filled novels here. Yeah, that had to be it!_

When Sirius left the "store", he was amazed to find that it was all free; you just had to return it later!

FREE PORN FOR LIFE.

This was Sirius' dream come true. He settled on one particularly long book by some guy named Shakers Pear or something like that. He sounded familiar, so Sirius figured it had to be good to be so well known.

He spent the next six hours trying to read it, waiting and waiting for the bit of porn to come up in the story.

Then he made it to the last page just as Remus walked in.

"Shakespeare?" he said incredulously. "I never pegged you as one for the Shakespearian plays, Siri," he said with wide eyes. Slamming the book shut with a frown, Sirius glared at the book.

"Not one bit of dirty smut in that whole book!" Sirius was near pouting. Remus snorted and looked at Sirius oddly, setting down a bag of produce onto the table.

"And _why, exactly, would there be?" Remus asked carefully, as if he were speaking to a child. Or a Sirius. Which he was. A Sirius that is, not a child._

"I borrowed it from a porn store," Sirius said, as if that explained _everything._

"Borrowed?"

 Sirius, then, went on to explain the days events and Remus could hardly contain his laughter by the time Sirius finished the tale. When he informed Sirius of his folly, the childlike man grumbled about evil yellow books giving out misleading information.

"Well at least you weren't bored," Remus said through a chuckle, shaking his head in mirth. "I can't exactly say the same for myself. It was terribly boring in fact," he added, heading to his room to change from his robes into some more comfortable muggle clothes.

A strangled cry came from his room.

"Sirius! Look at this mess! It will take me forever to clean this!" At this, Sirius couldn't help himself.

"Well at least now you won't be bored Remy," he said innocently, dodging the large yellow book thrown at his head.

+++

**LAST CHAPTER:**

"Why on earth would Harry want to know something like _that?" she muttered to herself, absently stroking Hedwig's soft feathers. Writing a quick, yet overly thorough response, she knitted her brow in confusion. Could Harry possibly be… [pregnant]?_

No. He couldn't _possibly…. Well, __technically…._

He couldn't be. He just couldn't. And that was final.

+++

**Chapter Six**

It had been a month since Harry received Hermione's owl about the Pregnancy. He just hoped she hadn't worked it out.

'_Me; pregnant?__ Go figure. This is definitely something that would only happen to the Boy-Who-Lived.' Harry still had no idea what he was going to tell Severus. Or Sirius. Or Remus. Or Hermione. Or Malfoy. Or __anyone. Gods this was just too confusing for him at this juncture. He was turning seventeen in just eight days. Harry had gone on, sick in the morning, but at least not so scared, and just ignore that he had something different about him that by all laws of nature should __not be so._

Harry groaned, sticking the spade into the loose dirt as he worked in the flower bed, resting a moment. He had been feeling considerably less well as time wore on with all of the work he was set doing. Vernon opened the door to his new company car and stepped out, giving Harry a dirty look, as if challenging him to not continue working on the garden. Using his forearm, Harry wiped beads of sweat off his forehead and with a resigned sigh, set back to the weeding and watering and pruning at hand. A small, cool breeze passed across the yard, and Harry gratefully lifted his head to feel the calming coolness as he worked steadily.

Life's being a bitch. I'll finish this chapter when I have time. *makes a face and pouts* Up note: I got the CareBears Movie for Christmas AND a GrumpyBear Plushie from Hot Topic AND a 15$ gift card with CareBears on it for HotTopic AND the CandyLand game. I got lots of other stuff and I beat HP CoS for PS2 in three days. It was fun. Anyhoo- other than getting nice prezzies, the holidays suck and I must study for… *shudders* Finals. *kills my Latin textbook*


End file.
